I’m a big girl. I’ve always been a big girl.
I’m 6′ tall and have always looked out of place. I developed quicker; I was wearing bras in primary school. My problems started when I developed a problem with my hips. My hips required pinning, and I was unable to engage in any activity for three years. Before then, I was actively involved in swimming, karate, and dancing, but I was suddenly unable to do anything.
In 2008, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), which affects everything. Your body doesn’t use food efficiently; this has been an ongoing battle throughout my life. I have tried every diet: Slimming World, Weight Watchers, and the keto diet. This works well for me but is so hard to stick to. I do feel better eating fewer carbs, and I feel less sluggish. I’m trying to improve my relationship with food, and I try mindful eating. We are made to feel guilty for eating anything! If you haven’t eaten a chocolate bar for 6 months and then you have one, you are told this is the reason you are fat. I was on Saxenda (weight loss injections, used for type 2 diabetes) and lost 2½ stone with that. I was doing fantastic with that, but then, due to the shortage (caused by private doctors prescribing for non-diabetic patients), that was stopped. I had terrible symptoms to start with: I felt sick and had no appetite, and the most awful was sulphuric burps, which were disgusting and made you want to lock yourself away because everybody could smell them.
I have just been put on tier 4 of the NHS weight loss program, waiting for bariatric surgery. This is my final attempt to lose weight.
I’ve just turned 40 in December, and I still don’t have children because of PCOS, which affects fertility. My husband and I are struggling. I was told that until I am a healthier weight, I’m not entitled to IVF; you can only get IVF until you are 42 years old. So, you are discriminating against me because of my weight; it’s a cop-out.
I was 29 stone but have lost weight with Saxenda. Because I’m tall, I carry it very well. I’m struggling to move. The pain in my hips and knees is compounded by the chronic fatigue caused by PCOS, creating a vicious circle. I’m pre-diabetic, and again, the PCOS means I’m predisposed to have this. When I was diagnosed with PCOS, I was given a leaflet, and that’s all. I have no other conditions often linked to obesity. PCOS affects 1 in 10 women, yet no one discusses it. Finally, research is underway on this topic. My GP has been no help at all. I wanted to see a specialist, but he refused me. I am currently waiting for the surgeon to assess my suitability and proceed with the surgery, which is expected to take at least 18 months. The trouble is by then, I will be just short of 42, and you have to wait a year after having surgery to start IVF or get pregnant. So, I will be over the 42-year limit. I and my husband have discussed this, and I have had to just get used to the fact that we may never have children. I feel that I’m letting everybody down. As a woman, it should be the most natural thing you can do. We are designed to have kids; then being told I need help, they never told me my weight would be an issue. No one ever informed me that I could not undergo IVF and that my PCOS had become uncontrollable. They never provide us with assistance; they always place the blame on our weight. They don’t treat the person.