Food has been an issue for me since I was a teenager. I was very self-conscious about my body even when I was slim. My weight went up and down; I had PTs help me go to the gym, but nothing helped. I went to therapy to help me deal with my past traumas, but nothing helped.
It was not just the way I looked; it was also the way I spoke about myself. I have ulcerative colitis, which made me put on weight. In the past, I would lose weight and then not like the way I looked, so I would binge eat and put it back on. I was disgusted at how I felt about myself. I was on Instagram one day looking to see if there were any other options to lose weight and feel better about myself.
I came across two girls on Instagram (Soul Encourage) who had devised an eating plan with a journal, which was £35. My husband helped me measure my body so I wouldn’t get too worried about the scale weight. I started following the plan and was eating so much more, but they reassured me to trust the process.
I lost a stone and a lot of inches. I took pictures at the beginning, and they told me to focus on them and the inches, not the scale weight. They then set up an exercise programme which I joined. I then lost another stone. I started to feel better about myself. I kept going, checking in, and I lost another stone. I started to buy new clothes, and I felt better knowing who I was. It was quite a journey for me. The journal was great; following steps and colouring in weeks all suited me. This programme was perfect for someone like me who is neurodiverse. I develop obsessive things, so I became obsessed with this and the gym, which gives me a huge hit of endorphins.
Becoming increasingly stronger has given me newfound confidence. My food intake has always been hard because I now realise being neurodiverse gives you a lot of sensitivities to food and the sensory inputs at restaurants and cafes, so I go to the same places that I feel comfortable with. I don’t like food mixed up, and I don’t like different textures. I have been a vegetarian since I was four. I had a group of friends that I thought were good friends, but they turned out not to be. They would say stuff like, “You talk about the same stuff all the time.” I find it hard to tell if people are my true friends. When I got my diagnosis, they were dismissive of it. It was quite a shock to have friends for over 20 years who just brushed all my feelings under the carpet. I decided I didn’t need this negativity in my life, and now I have a few great friends.
I had a photo shoot, which has given me great body confidence. This journey has helped me physically and mentally. The gym helps me. I have a personal trainer. She changes the way she talks to me, so I understand. I am happy now; I feel better in myself.